Change is Coming

Quality Time

The time has come. I must go back to work.

I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm nervous. I'm excited.

When my husband went back to grad school for ministry in 2005 we knew it meant having financial hardships for a few years and eventually moving away from our families. All I asked was that I could be a SAHM for a while when he was finally called to his own church. 

Well, we moved here in 2009 and I became a SAHM to my then three year old son and six-month-old daughter. I didn't think I could make it after the first month. I was ready to pull my hair out! But, we finally got into a routine and I loved it. I missed a lot of the adult things, like lunch hours and conversation. I also realized what a gift staying home was for me.

After having my son in 2006 I returned to work full-time after twelve weeks of maternity leave. It was hard leaving him but I had no choice. I had to work.  When our daughter was born in 2009 we had already moved once. I had a new job and could only stay out for eight weeks and then had to return to work. Again, I had to work.

Then my husband was called to VA. He kept his promise and I got to stay home. I realized what I missed while I worked when my son was little. I don't regret it but I am sad that someone else got to see everything I missed.  More than once I've sat back and wondered, 'How in the world did I get all this done when I worked?'  I've learned what an incredible person it takes to work and be a wife and mother and take care of a home while making sure your kid doesn't turn into a serial killer. What's more amazing are the millions of moms and dads who do it every day!

So, in a few weeks I will return to work, this time only part-time. A few days a week. It will help me ease back into the real world. For some reason I think leaving my kids this time will be even harder then when they were infants.  They have become my side kicks, my partners in crime.

I am excited about entering the adult world again! Having conversations that involve subjects other than Buzz Lightyear and trains is a huge plus! I think I'm really going to enjoy my job.

Most of me can't wait to get started. The part of my heart that is with my kids is dragging a little though.

Valentine's Day Ideas

Doesn't he deserve a good V-Day? :)

I need suggestions. Are you a Super Romantic? I would love some ideas for Valentine's Day!

I have a confession. I am a girl and I DO NOT LIKE TO SHOP! I am also NOT a romantic.

As Valentine's Day approaches I am reminded of how unromantic I am. I just don't think in terms of candlelight dinners, surprise getaways or super thoughtful (took me a lot of time) gifts. I think the best I've done so far was the wedding gift I gave my husband. It was a small scrapbook of special notes and pictures from when we were dating and our engagement.  Since then, I think I have failed miserably.

My husband, on the other hand, LOVES to shop and is great a buying gifts! He has great taste and loves to plan little getaways for the two of us every now and then. He tries to help me out by pointing out things he likes (even making lists) or mentioning places he would like to go. I very rarely remember and most of the time I can't find the gifts he has hinted at (usually random Jesus books. We call all his religious paraphernalia Jesus books).

Sometimes I feel guilty for lacking the romance gene, but it is me. Some people are just better at things than others. I have high hopes every year for Valentine's Day and his birthday but I never seem to get it done.
Maybe this year will be different.

Are you missing the romance gene too?

How the meaning of Christmas has changed

My husband has a beautiful voice and would sing "Joseph's Song" each Christmas. The Christmas I was pregnant with Alex was the last Christmas he sang it. He got choked up that year because he could relate to Joseph's love for the son he raised. He didn't think he could ever make it through the whole song again. Read the lyrics and you will understand why.

Son of our love...

Chorus 1
How could it be this baby in my arms
Sleeping now, so peacefully
The Son of God, the angel said
How could it be
Lord I know He's not my own
Not of my flesh, not of my bone
Still Father let this baby be
The son of my loveChorus 2
Father show me where I fit into this plan of yours
How can a man be father to the Son of God
Lord for all my life I've been a simple carpenter
How can I raise a king, How can I raise a king
He looks so small, His face and hands so fair
And when He cries the sun just seems to disappear
But when He laughs it shines again
How could it be

- Michael Card

I started thinking about how the meaning of Christmas has changed for me over the years. As a young child it's all about the gifts and the anticipation of what Santa will bring.  For me, it was also what my Aunt Dixie would get us. She didn't have children of her own so she always spoiled my sister, me and my cousin at Christmas.  She always gave us the best stuff! Of course, baby Jesus' birthday was also thrown in there.

As I entered my 'tweens and teenage years I understood more of the special birth of Jesus and the true meaning of the Holiday but gifts were still a huge part of the celebration.  In my early twenties, the meaning was still the same and the Holiday became a little bit of a hassle because now I was an adult and couldn't just add my name to my mom's on the family gifts.  I actually had to go out and figure out what to get everyone.

Then I got married and we had our son. Personally, I have tried to put myself in Mary 's shoes. How unreal to know that you were pregnant with the son of God. How would you even begin to tell your soon-to-be husband? How scared she must have been! Today being pregnant without being married isn't such a big deal, but she could have been dragged into the streets and stoned to death! Then her realization later on that he would have to die to fulfill God's plan. I get choked up thinking about it! God had to have been with both of them for such a miraculous thing to occur.

On the flip side, our kids are in the presents stage! They are so excited! It is great to see the joy in their eyes and their innocence. My son always wants to put money in the kettles, "To help the kids who don't get presents."  It is fun to see them so excited and grateful. My son is very good about saying "thank you!" over and over again. We are still throwing in a little bit of Jesus here and there but I am realistic of what will stick at their ages.

A few days ago my son asked, "Mom, what do you want for Christmas?" My answer, "For you and your sister to be happy." It wasn't the dutiful mommy answer. It really is what I want for Christmas. To see the surprised, happy looks on Alex and Brooklyn's faces on Christmas morning will be more than enough for me. Seeing their little happy faces all year long also does the trick too!

How has the meaning Christmas changed over the years for you?