Change is Coming

Quality Time

The time has come. I must go back to work.

I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm nervous. I'm excited.

When my husband went back to grad school for ministry in 2005 we knew it meant having financial hardships for a few years and eventually moving away from our families. All I asked was that I could be a SAHM for a while when he was finally called to his own church. 

Well, we moved here in 2009 and I became a SAHM to my then three year old son and six-month-old daughter. I didn't think I could make it after the first month. I was ready to pull my hair out! But, we finally got into a routine and I loved it. I missed a lot of the adult things, like lunch hours and conversation. I also realized what a gift staying home was for me.

After having my son in 2006 I returned to work full-time after twelve weeks of maternity leave. It was hard leaving him but I had no choice. I had to work.  When our daughter was born in 2009 we had already moved once. I had a new job and could only stay out for eight weeks and then had to return to work. Again, I had to work.

Then my husband was called to VA. He kept his promise and I got to stay home. I realized what I missed while I worked when my son was little. I don't regret it but I am sad that someone else got to see everything I missed.  More than once I've sat back and wondered, 'How in the world did I get all this done when I worked?'  I've learned what an incredible person it takes to work and be a wife and mother and take care of a home while making sure your kid doesn't turn into a serial killer. What's more amazing are the millions of moms and dads who do it every day!

So, in a few weeks I will return to work, this time only part-time. A few days a week. It will help me ease back into the real world. For some reason I think leaving my kids this time will be even harder then when they were infants.  They have become my side kicks, my partners in crime.

I am excited about entering the adult world again! Having conversations that involve subjects other than Buzz Lightyear and trains is a huge plus! I think I'm really going to enjoy my job.

Most of me can't wait to get started. The part of my heart that is with my kids is dragging a little though.

How the meaning of Christmas has changed

My husband has a beautiful voice and would sing "Joseph's Song" each Christmas. The Christmas I was pregnant with Alex was the last Christmas he sang it. He got choked up that year because he could relate to Joseph's love for the son he raised. He didn't think he could ever make it through the whole song again. Read the lyrics and you will understand why.

Son of our love...

Chorus 1
How could it be this baby in my arms
Sleeping now, so peacefully
The Son of God, the angel said
How could it be
Lord I know He's not my own
Not of my flesh, not of my bone
Still Father let this baby be
The son of my loveChorus 2
Father show me where I fit into this plan of yours
How can a man be father to the Son of God
Lord for all my life I've been a simple carpenter
How can I raise a king, How can I raise a king
He looks so small, His face and hands so fair
And when He cries the sun just seems to disappear
But when He laughs it shines again
How could it be

- Michael Card

I started thinking about how the meaning of Christmas has changed for me over the years. As a young child it's all about the gifts and the anticipation of what Santa will bring.  For me, it was also what my Aunt Dixie would get us. She didn't have children of her own so she always spoiled my sister, me and my cousin at Christmas.  She always gave us the best stuff! Of course, baby Jesus' birthday was also thrown in there.

As I entered my 'tweens and teenage years I understood more of the special birth of Jesus and the true meaning of the Holiday but gifts were still a huge part of the celebration.  In my early twenties, the meaning was still the same and the Holiday became a little bit of a hassle because now I was an adult and couldn't just add my name to my mom's on the family gifts.  I actually had to go out and figure out what to get everyone.

Then I got married and we had our son. Personally, I have tried to put myself in Mary 's shoes. How unreal to know that you were pregnant with the son of God. How would you even begin to tell your soon-to-be husband? How scared she must have been! Today being pregnant without being married isn't such a big deal, but she could have been dragged into the streets and stoned to death! Then her realization later on that he would have to die to fulfill God's plan. I get choked up thinking about it! God had to have been with both of them for such a miraculous thing to occur.

On the flip side, our kids are in the presents stage! They are so excited! It is great to see the joy in their eyes and their innocence. My son always wants to put money in the kettles, "To help the kids who don't get presents."  It is fun to see them so excited and grateful. My son is very good about saying "thank you!" over and over again. We are still throwing in a little bit of Jesus here and there but I am realistic of what will stick at their ages.

A few days ago my son asked, "Mom, what do you want for Christmas?" My answer, "For you and your sister to be happy." It wasn't the dutiful mommy answer. It really is what I want for Christmas. To see the surprised, happy looks on Alex and Brooklyn's faces on Christmas morning will be more than enough for me. Seeing their little happy faces all year long also does the trick too!

How has the meaning Christmas changed over the years for you?

Christmas Pics On a Budget

Since our son was born we have sent out picture cards at Christmas. These are usually pictures I take right after Thanksgiving, upload to my favorite one hour photo site, choose one of their designs and I'm done.

This year things were a little harder. I picked out very cute outfits for my little ones. My oldest, Alex has always been pretty easy to handle, eager to make mommy happy. Pictures with him have been pretty easy. Last year was Brooklyn's first Christmas. She wasn't able to crawl or walk yet so things went pretty smoothly.

Then, enter the Christmas picture fiasco of 2010!

First, it was cold so I needed to do this quickly. Fortunately, there is nice open field next to our house with a few hay bales hanging out so I thought this would be a great spot. So I drag the kids out, stand them together and immediately Brooklyn begins walking toward me. I ask her to stop, she keeps walking. Big brother is following behind her because I told him to put his hands on her shoulders and keep them there, "no matter what." Little sister is getting mad because he won't let go. I kept trying unsuccessfully to get them to stand together. Both were walking around taking in the great outdoors. I tried bringing out a chair. What made me think she would sit in it?

Then a low flying airplane decided to fly by taking it's sweet time. Then a helicopter (thanks to living next to a hospital with a trauma center). After those disctractions, I got what I thought was a good picture but quickly noticed both of their noses were running thanks to the cold. Finally I realized if I made silly faces (duh!) they would laugh and look at me. So I was able to get a few quick decent shots. I hope I have a job by Christmas next year so I can happily pay a professional to have the headache. They still look cute enough to eat and I will not delete any of the "bad" pictures becuase they still captured a great "mommy" moment.

Here is what we ended up with:

Tag Along

So I am a proud tag along! What is a tag along? It is someone who tagged along to church with a friend, relative or caring neighbor. Gowing up, my parents didn't attend church regularly. We went off and on when I was small but never on a regular basis. My parents didn't grow up going to church so they were trying their best to instill some sort of religion and the importance of church to my sister and me.

When I was about 9 years old my best friend Daina and her mother invited me to go to church. They were trying to find one they liked and looking back her mother probably thought bringing me along would make it easier for her daughter. It's always easier when you a have a friend! Well, they liked the church and kept going and kept inviting me along. I eventually became involved in Sunday School, and Sunday and Wednesday night activities. I often came with Daina but my parents also dropped me off and picked me up whenever I wanted to go.

I found a second family at this church (some actually turned out to be distant aunts and uncles) they took me in and showed interest in my life outside of church. I enjoyed being in plays, attending camp and hanging out with the great friends I made there.

I became a Christian at 12 and continued on the path of trying to live my life the way God wanted me to. I faced the same issues as everyone through high school but church, my family and my friends helped keep me on the right path.  When my Dad died suddenly when I was 19 it was my pastor, his wife and the members there that helped organize and conduct the service. They visited and called to make sure my family was okay.

Once in college I stopped attending church regularly. I was away from home and wanted to have fun.

I found my way back shortly after college. Married a man who was a former cop turned minister and now help raise our family while we serve our church.

Some people think it's too much trouble to ask the little girl next door or a child's friend if she wants to go to Vacation Bible School, a church social gathering or just to Sunday School. I am an example of what that simple act can do. I serve my church with my husband and am raising two children to know God's love so they will not need to be a tag along. I don't think Daina or her mom realize the impact of their act. We lost contact years ago. Maybe one day I can pass it forward.

At our son's dedication